Archive for the ‘Humour’ Category

Nov
01
Filed Under (Articles, Humour) by admin on 01-11-2006

By: Lilith Mill 

Condoms, jimmies, rubbers…you might think you’ve heard them all. Condoms are one of the world’s most common prophylactics. Here are 5 things that you might not otherwise know about condoms and their names.

 

1. English Nicknames

 

One of the most known nicknames for condom is rubber. However, if you go to a convenience store in Australia or New Zealand and ask for a rubber, you will be handed an eraser. This could make for awkward moments for Kiwis or Aussies traveling abroad who just want to erase a mistake: “Could I have a rubber, mate?”

 

Other English nicknames include jimmy hat, raincoat, or hazmat suit: a suit you don for dealing with hazardous materials. The term “love glove” led to the famous safe sex slogan “No Glove, No Love.”

 

2. International Nicknames

 

English isn’t the only language that had odd nicknames for condoms. In Denmark, they are called gummimand, which literally means “rubberman.” In Germany, they are called lummeltute, or “naughty bags.” Hungarian terminology emphasizes the protective aspect by calling a condom an ovsver, or a “safety tool.” Hong Kong similarly demonstrates the protective value by calling a condom a pei dang vi, or a “bulletproof vest.” In Portugal they call condoms “Venus’ shirts” or camisa de Venus: remember, Venus is the goddess of love after all, so it makes sense!

 

Other countries can be more literal with their meanings: in Nigeria, a condom is an okpuamu, or a “penis hat.” In Indonesia, instead of a hat, it’s a “penis gourd” or a koteca.

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Oct
01
Filed Under (Humour, Jokes) by admin on 01-10-2006

10. I need to whip it out by 5.
9. Mind if I use your laptop?
8. Just stick it in my box.
7. If I have to lick one more, I’ll gag!
6. I want it on my desk, NOW!!!
5. HMMMMM, I think it’s out of fluid.
4. My equipment is so old, it takes forever to finish.
3. It’s an entry-level position.
2. When do you think you’ll be getting off today? And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty, but isn’t:
1. It’s not fair. I do all the work while he just sits there!!!
—–

TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY, BUT IN A LAW FIRM, AREN’T:

10. Have you looked through her briefs?
9. He is one hard judge.
8. Counselor, let’s do it in the chambers.
7. Her attorney withdrew at the last minute.
6. Is it a penal offense?
5. Better leave the handcuffs on.
4. For $200 an hour, she better be good!
3. Can you get him to drop his suit?
2. The judge gave her the stiffest one he could. And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty, but in a law firm, isn’t:
1. Think you can get me off?
—–

TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY, BUT IN GOLF, AREN’T:

10. Damn, my shaft is bent.
9. After 18 holes, I can barely walk.
8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker.
7. Look at the size of his putter!
6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more.
5. Mind if I join your threesome?
4. Stand with your back turned and drop it.
3. My hands are so sweaty I can’t get a good grip.
2. Nice stroke, but your follow-through leaves a lot to be desired. And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty, but in golf, isn’t:
1. Hold up! I need to wash my ball first!



Sep
12
Filed Under (Fun, Humour, Jokes) by admin on 12-09-2006

HOUSE SEX - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house in every room.
BEDROOM SEX - After you have been married for a while, you only have sex in the bedroom.
HALL SEX - After you’ve been married for many, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say “FUCK YOU”
COURTROOM SEX - When your wife and her lawyer fuck you in the divorce court in front of many people for every penny you’ve got.



Aug
21
Filed Under (Funny Pictures, Humour) by admin on 21-08-2006
Hump me Dump me.jpg


Aug
21
Filed Under (Fun, Funny Pictures, Hot`n`Spicy, Humour) by admin on 21-08-2006
Human Canvass.jpg


Aug
21
Filed Under (Fun, Funny Pictures, Hot`n`Spicy, Humour) by admin on 21-08-2006
Fly Naked.jpg




Aug
21
Filed Under (Funny Pictures, Hot`n`Spicy, Humour) by admin on 21-08-2006